Expand Your Comfort Zone: Day 3 - Building Gratitude
Build gratitude by seeking it, writing it down, and by talking about it.
Need to catch up? Here is Day 1 and Day 2.
In a speech, Dave Chappelle said, "A person that only does what's better or worse is the easiest type of person to control".
I had to rewind that part several times for it to click because WE ALL think in terms of what's better or worse.
On page 4 of my Emotional Intelligence Guide, I added that quote, and Dave goes on to say "People are trying to replace the idea of Good and Bad, with Better or Worse, and that is incorrect".
You ever tell yourself "...it could be worse" in an effort to get your mind off the present issues that you are experiencing? Or you ever feel dissatisfied with something or someone because you can have "better" or you feel someone is doing "better" than you?
You see how the idea of "better or worse" can control you as opposed to you controlling it ?
If you live with the mindset of “better or worse”, you never truly look at the path in front of you and you judge based on the illusion of what COULD BE.
You always see that your life is not good enough and you will do “whatever it takes” to get to a "better" place than where you are. [in comes the control factor]
Or you never deal with the things that are truly holding you back because “it could always be worse” and now you are burying your problems instead of facing them and preventing them from growing into bigger issues. [in comes the control factor]
The principle of "better or worse" makes us chase and/or avoid but when you think in terms of “good and bad”, You get yourself out of the rat race/maze and set yourself free.
Remember: the steps you skip will trip you up in the end.
If you skip your healing, you CANNOT move forward and if you skip the acknowledgment of your accomplishments, you will never feel satisfied or good enough.
So today we focus on the first point of building gratitude by SEEKING IT!
What's good and what's bad in your life? You will notice that a lot of what you think could be "better" in your life will fit in the good category.
Now, you end up showing way more gratitude for the things you wish were better and you actually DEAL WITH what's bad instead of disguising it with the idea that it's not an issue bad enough to focus on and correct.
Are you too hard on yourself? We always come back to this question every post lol THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE REASON FOR SO MANY OF OUR ISSUES. You judge yourself based on things that probably aren't even being categorized correctly.
The next point of building gratitude is writing it down. In my Emotional Intelligence Guide, I placed an area in the guide that gives space for you to Take Inventory Of Your Life.
Think of all the things in your trading career, and your life, that you wish were better or that could be worse. In essence, is it good or bad? I want you to think about each thing like this:
If I DIDNT have this thing in my life, would that be a good thing or a bad thing?
If there is something in your life that you see would be a BAD thing if you didn't have it, then it's a good thing because you DO have it, regardless if it could be "better". Right?
And If there is something in your life that you see would be a GOOD thing if you didn't have it, then it's a BAD thing because you DO have it, regardless if it could be "worse".
Now, am I saying that you shouldn't seek for more in your life or that you should fret over some of the bad things you experience? Absolutely not!
You should always strive to become stronger in what's ALREADY good and weaker in what's CURRENTLY bad. This helps you remain in the PRESENT state of mind.
I know that everyone isn't into journaling but you must take the time to take inventory of what you may be categorizing incorrectly.
Or you can go to the third point of building gratitude and that's to talk about it.
Say out loud what you are grateful for. Say out loud what you would like to correct.
As a retired hairstylist, I used to have conversations with soooo many women about a variety of topics. A lot of the time, I would discuss what was going on in my life and there were times when I would resolve problems just off the fact that it sounds so different hearing myself say it as opposed to just thinking it.
There is power in writing things down. There is also power in saying things out loud. You can hear things and feel things vibrationally that make you respond differently and may make you take action a lot faster.
Why? Because now it feels real. It feels like you have spoken it into existence. It's making the 2 dimensional into 3 dimensional. It's giving the words a certain level of force.
This will make you feel one of 2 things: dumb as hell or grateful as hell lol